My White Lie

By Sarah Salemy ‘21

We are always moving toward the future,

and the uncertainties of the future

creeping closer to us with each hour. Tonight, I lie

awake alone, except for my sister asleep in her

own bed three feet from me, crying about the lie

I have told everyone. I spent the day deceiving the ones I love—

my mother, brothers, aunt, and friends.

I read several bible verses while waiting for the service,

having told the same lie to the worst person possible—

the priest. The only thing that brings me comfort now is

the cold piece of metal and the worn piece of paper stuck

in between that I clutch in my hand. It was your engraved money

clip that I gifted you on Father’s day just two years ago. The edges of

the paper have begun to tear even though the date is only from a

couple weeks ago. I think about how I’ll forever try to live a life

that would make you proud and cry harder thinking about how I have

lied. I said I was fine when in fact, I will never be fine now that

you are gone. The unknown future will continue to come for me and

test me while I try my best to survive in the world, cold and unforgiving,

without you. My anxiety of all the unforeseen struggles consume me and

this lie is the only thing that brings me strength—it brings

you to me in time of need.